I was recently on a family trip, and I ended up ordering way too much food. I had misunderstood the portions, and we sat at the table surrounded by a feast. As my family laughed about my order, I reminded them that my father would have been proud. I remembered how much my father loved to eat out and try different foods. He would have loved this gigantic meal and the quality time with his family.
I think of all the things my father wanted to pass down to me, all the advice he gave me over the years, and yet ordering too much food still stays at the top of my mind when I think of him.
We cannot control what memories or advice people will carry on from us. We can try to ensure that we impart our wisdom. We can hope that it will mean something and be remembered, but we never really know which ones will stick.
My father certainly passed on more than my love of a meal. He shared his love of music, the arts, community, and the value of family caring for each other. But sometimes, it is the funny memories or character traits that I enjoy remembering the most. For example, he kept a list for every vacation so that the next time, he would be able to refer to it and ensure he packed correctly.
I have also learned a lot of advice from people I have come into contact with through the years. Some are longtime friends or coworkers, but some I only met once, and yet they shared something that stuck with me.
One time at a party, I was chatting with someone I had never met about our busy schedules. Suddenly, she said, “I guess I should not act like being too busy and overwhelmed is a badge of honor; it would be better to prioritize being relaxed as worthy of a prize!”.
That meant so much to me at that moment. I cannot remember this person’s name. Still, I take the memory of her advice with me and remind myself of it when I’m overscheduling myself.
The more lived experiences we have, the more we learn. This is how we grow wisdom as we age. And yet, so often, we see younger people want to forge their path and make their own mistakes rather than take advice from older people.
The best advice often comes from our own experiences. When we share our personal stories rather than telling someone else how they should or should not act, it helps the message be heard.
I would like to use this forum to ask: What is the best advice you wish you could pass on to others?
Email me at mshapiro@seniorconcerns.org, and I will compile the advice I receive for a future column.
We may not be able to control what advice our loved ones remember or carry on, but we can share our messages far and wide, in hopes that we will all learn something to carry with us.
Martha Shapiro can be reached at Senior Concerns at 805-497-0189 or by email at mshapiro@seniorconcerns.org.
