Other Side of 50

It started with a missed appointment—something small enough to brush off, yet just unusual enough to stay with her. My friend Mary has always been organized, the one who keeps track of everything. So when she forgot a long-standing lunch, she told herself it was simply a busy week. [...]

At some point, many of us hear the same phrase after an X-ray or MRI: “You have degenerative changes.” It sounds ominous, and when you hear it - especially in connection with your spine - it can feel unsettling. I heard those words recently myself. After several weeks of [...]

Every so often someone will say to me, “My friend asked me to be their power of attorney,” or “I’ve been asked to serve as a trustee.” Usually, the question that follows is simple: Should I do it? The answer, of course, depends. Sometimes it is one of the [...]

My mom is 92 and, remarkably, still pretty independent. She lives in her own home. She reads. She cooks. She putters. She watches her shows. She still insists she’s “fine.” And in many ways, she is. But aging has a way of turning even “fine” into a team sport. [...]

Recently, a friend shared something with me that quietly broke my heart for him. His wife has advanced Alzheimer’s. She lives in a care community now. She no longer recognizes him. Their conversations are brief. Sometimes she smiles at him the way she might smile at any kind visitor. [...]

I recently had a routine dental visit turn into something much bigger. What began as a simple replacement of an old filling quickly escalated into a crown - $450 out of pocket - followed by pain when I drank cold beverages, and the unwelcome news that the same tooth [...]

I recently attended a gathering of local nonprofit CEOs to talk openly about the unprecedented challenges our organizations are facing today — from tightening budgets and workforce capacity concerns to the growing needs in our communities. While the conversation surfaced many real and pressing challenges, there was also a [...]

I’m going to begin this column with two simple, everyday observations, both shaped by my experience as an older adult navigating our community. One happens behind the wheel. The other happens on foot. Let’s start with driving. My dry cleaner, bank, and coffee shop are all in the same [...]

Many people assume that cities fund most older adult services. In reality, they do not. Programs like Meals on Wheels, caregiver support, transportation assistance, home safety modifications, and senior protection usually begin with federal funding, and then flow through the State of California, who then sends it to the [...]

This weekend, while doing some early holiday shopping at Macy’s, I found myself in line behind a white-haired woman using a walker, chatting cheerfully about the bargains she’d found and the gift card she planned to use. By chance, we ended up checking out side by side. The cashier [...]

Every community has a heartbeat. Here in the Conejo Valley, that heartbeat is made stronger, steadier, and kinder because of the volunteers who show up—day after day, year after year—to make life better for someone else. I am fortunate to see volunteerism up close through my work at Senior [...]

Every so often, I read something that makes me stop and catch my breath. Recently, it was an article in “The Chronicle of Philanthropy” listing America’s 100 favorite charities. On the surface, it was a remarkable summary of generosity, listing billions of dollars given by caring people across the [...]

My friend recently had dinner with a long-time neighbor who has been diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment. She told me, “He carried on a good conversation all through dinner. He seemed fine to me.” She was questioning her neighbor’s diagnosis, since in my friend’s mind, her neighbor appeared normal. [...]

A few weeks ago, I received the thick Medicare & You government handbook that is mailed to every Medicare household each fall before open enrollment (Oct. 15–Dec. 7). Seeing it immediately made me feel anxious and overwhelmed. The handbook is a comprehensive guide to Medicare and covers many topics [...]

As I was struggling at work this week to read some fine print, I realized I needed the help of my twenty-something workmate, Max. It took him seconds to read what I could not. I know my eyesight is weakening, but honestly, I have had a good run; being [...]

Over lunch the other day, a dear friend was talking about the fact that she has been caring for her mother since her dementia diagnosis 14 years ago. She shared key points in her journey, like when she moved her mother into residential care, and how now, many years [...]

I have just returned from time in New Hampshire caring for my mom. In overwhelming pain, my mother became violently ill. My sister called 911, and Mom was transported to the hospital.  The diagnoses came fast and furious - gout in her affected hand, aspiration pneumonia, and orthostatic hypotension, [...]

The Senior Concerns Director of Nutrition, who leads the Meals On Wheels program, recently asked if I would write a column about why older adults should designate an emergency contact. She relayed that more Meals On Wheels clients than we would like do not identify an emergency contact in [...]

Just when I begin to wonder what to write about next, life offers up a moment -a lesson- and I am reminded that these everyday experiences often hold meaning worth sharing. Last week, my mom, who turned 91 on July 26th, woke up and the top of her right [...]

I have been on the phone with my sister for the last few days. She has some big decisions to make about her Medicare coverage, and it can be a confusing process. My sister turns 65 in October.  Because she is currently receiving Social Security benefits, she will automatically [...]