The Other Side of 50

A few weeks ago, as he was walking his dog around his neighborhood, my friend Jerry experienced pain and pressure in his chest. He’d forgotten his cellphone, so he continued up the hill to his house, stopping four times to catch his breath before arriving home. Once he was inside [...]

I recently visited New Hampshire to join my mother in celebrating her 85th birthday. While planning the visit, I asked my mother if she would like to go on a short trip with me—maybe a visit to Cape Cod or to Maine? My mother has temporarily lost her “partner in [...]

When most people hear the words “planned giving,” their eyes glaze over. In the over-50 population, there’s a general lack of awareness and understanding about the concept. This is too bad, because with the collective wealth of baby boomers, their planned gifts can have significant social impact. Planned giving is [...]

I’ve trained my mom to be a case manager for seniors. Well, not really, but linking our daily conversations along with her 85 years of life experience, my mom can give some pretty good advice when asked. Mom has known her close friend Bernadette since high school. They both married [...]

Today’s baby boomers range from 55 to 73 years old. Studies show that “gray divorce”—marital splits among senior and nearly senior citizens— is increasingly common. According to a Pew Research Center report, the divorce rate for people in the United States age 50 and older is now about double what [...]

Many years ago I took courses at the Center for Creative Leadership, a world-renowned leadership-development firm. I worked for Dole at the time, and I guess they had high hopes for my changing the world, or at least improving my portion of the organization. One of the courses I took [...]

I just received my fifth email this month on the same topic. In the email, my friend informed me he’s canceled his landline service and has chosen to use only his cellphone for voice communication because of the abundance of robocalls and scams he was receiving. Unfortunately, this will not [...]

I volunteered to work at the recent Thousand Oaks Chili Cook-Off for a friend who was going out of town and didn’t want to leave the Rotary Club that puts on the event short-handed. It was to be an all-day assignment, so I asked my husband if he’d like to [...]

If you live an hour or more away from a loved one who needs your care, you’re a long-distance caregiver.   Based upon the needs of the care receiver, as well as the skills, abilities and limitations of the caregiver, every long-distance caregiving experience is different. I’ve been a long-distance [...]

I have a dear friend, Nancy, whose husband died unexpectedly several years ago. She was recounting the situation to me and how another friend of hers, a physician, wanted to give her some medication to calm her during the experience. Nancy’s response: “I have too much to do. I can’t [...]

Aging is something we learn from family, our community and our culture. Sam, I’ll call him, is what can only be described as an 87-year-old curmudgeon. As a widower suffering from congestive heart failure, mostly homebound due to his fatigue and need for oxygen, he is bitter about his lot [...]

My husband is a finance guy, a CPA with a master’s in taxation. He is, by all accounts, a meticulous, detail-oriented individual. It’s nice to have one of those in a family. At least one of us should be reading the dishwasher manual when it malfunctions, checking a contract’s fine [...]

Recently my mother returned home to New Hampshire after two wonderful weeks visiting me and my husband here in California. I had lots of goals for the visit, and we accomplished many of them. Two remarkable things happened that I did not plan for. Because we finally had some quality [...]

My nephew Tanner is a pretty accomplished young man. He has a knack for mechanics. During his high school years, he worked for a company that made sensitive equipment parts for the military. On the side, he bought lawnmowers, dirt bikes, jet skis and other small vehicles that needed repair. [...]

After the recent wildfires ripped through our community, I mentioned to my husband that I didn’t want to let too much time go by before we debriefed on what we did right and wrong when we evacuated. I wanted this natural disaster— the first my husband and I have really [...]

After a 15-year hiatus, my mother is coming to California to visit me. During the many years she was caring for my father, who had Parkinson’s disease, my mother could not bring herself to leave his side. But now that he’s gone, she is ready to make the journey from [...]

The 55-plus community my mother lives in has a weekly get-together at its clubhouse. Everyone who chooses to come brings a food item to share; visiting with one another includes the goings-on in their lives: who welcomed grandchildren, who’s expecting visitors and talk of current events. Showing up at last [...]

On the heels of the Borderline shooting, Allison, a Senior Concerns case manager, was knocking on doors of the occupants of the senior low-income housing complex where she works. She was concerned the residents were isolated in their apartments watching the 24/7 coverage of the massacre, feeling shocked and frightened. [...]

My friend Dr. Sara Zeff Geber coined the term “solo agers” after realizing so many of her childfree friends were caring for their aging parents. The question loomed large: Who was going to care for them when they got older? Geber’s term has expanded to include older adults who are [...]

Recently my husband attended a tax conference in San Diego. He came home with a complimentary backpack filled with “swag” that included a journal, highlighters, pens and logo’d Post-it notes. Also inside the backpack was a webcam cover. This was a new one to me. My husband routinely has a [...]