Other Side of 50

I have been noticing ears lately. More specifically, I have been noticing what people put in them. Walk through an airport, a grocery store, a college campus or a coffee shop and earbuds seem to be everywhere. Kids wear them. Teenagers wear them. Adults wear them. People exercise in [...]

You walk to the mailbox, shuffle through the usual assortment of bills, advertisements, and catalogs, and spot an envelope from the California Department of Motor Vehicles. You open it. The DMV wants to reexamine your ability to drive safely. Wait. What? You haven't asked for this. As far as [...]

Your appointment is at 10:00 a.m. You did everything right. You arrived 15 minutes early, checked in, completed the paperwork, and found a seat in the waiting room. At 10:20, you're still waiting. By 10:40, you're wondering if someone forgot you were there. Then, after you're finally called back, you [...]

A friend recently shared a conversation that has stayed with me. She and another member of her cycling group have been close friends for years. They ride together, enjoy meals, attend events, and genuinely care about one another. Their relationship has never been romantic, but it is deeply meaningful. [...]

A few weeks ago, a gentleman I know came by my office to share a story he thought might serve as a lesson for others. He wasn't looking for sympathy—he was hoping his experience might help someone avoid a similar situation. He wasn't asking anyone to intervene. In fact, [...]

As my 50th high school reunion approaches, I find myself wondering what emotion will greet me first. Will it be excitement? Curiosity? Anxiety? Will I recognize everyone? More importantly, will they recognize me? Like many of my classmates, I have spent some time thinking about who I was at [...]

There’s something powerful that happened at our center last month. No applause.  Just a small group of people, gathering week after week for a class, choosing to talk about something many of us would rather avoid—our memory. Not the class itself - that matters, of course. But what has [...]

There are certain people we never forget, not because they were famous or powerful, but because they showed up for us when we needed them most. When I was 11 years old, I spent months in the hospital, an hour away from where we lived. It was frightening, isolating, [...]

Caregiver guilt is one of those quiet feelings that rarely gets named out loud, yet so many people carry it. It shows up in small moments - a thought that lingers after you leave a loved one’s home, a second-guessing of a decision, a subtle feeling that no matter [...]

It started with a missed appointment—something small enough to brush off, yet just unusual enough to stay with her. My friend Mary has always been organized, the one who keeps track of everything. So when she forgot a long-standing lunch, she told herself it was simply a busy week. [...]

At some point, many of us hear the same phrase after an X-ray or MRI: “You have degenerative changes.” It sounds ominous, and when you hear it - especially in connection with your spine - it can feel unsettling. I heard those words recently myself. After several weeks of [...]

Every so often someone will say to me, “My friend asked me to be their power of attorney,” or “I’ve been asked to serve as a trustee.” Usually, the question that follows is simple: Should I do it? The answer, of course, depends. Sometimes it is one of the [...]

My mom is 92 and, remarkably, still pretty independent. She lives in her own home. She reads. She cooks. She putters. She watches her shows. She still insists she’s “fine.” And in many ways, she is. But aging has a way of turning even “fine” into a team sport. [...]

Recently, a friend shared something with me that quietly broke my heart for him. His wife has advanced Alzheimer’s. She lives in a care community now. She no longer recognizes him. Their conversations are brief. Sometimes she smiles at him the way she might smile at any kind visitor. [...]

I recently had a routine dental visit turn into something much bigger. What began as a simple replacement of an old filling quickly escalated into a crown - $450 out of pocket - followed by pain when I drank cold beverages, and the unwelcome news that the same tooth [...]

I recently attended a gathering of local nonprofit CEOs to talk openly about the unprecedented challenges our organizations are facing today — from tightening budgets and workforce capacity concerns to the growing needs in our communities. While the conversation surfaced many real and pressing challenges, there was also a [...]

I’m going to begin this column with two simple, everyday observations, both shaped by my experience as an older adult navigating our community. One happens behind the wheel. The other happens on foot. Let’s start with driving. My dry cleaner, bank, and coffee shop are all in the same [...]

Many people assume that cities fund most older adult services. In reality, they do not. Programs like Meals on Wheels, caregiver support, transportation assistance, home safety modifications, and senior protection usually begin with federal funding, and then flow through the State of California, who then sends it to the [...]

This weekend, while doing some early holiday shopping at Macy’s, I found myself in line behind a white-haired woman using a walker, chatting cheerfully about the bargains she’d found and the gift card she planned to use. By chance, we ended up checking out side by side. The cashier [...]