Q: I am trying to clean out my home and de-clutter. How do I know what mementos are worth keeping and what I should give away?
A: Evaluating our own belongings and making tough decisions about what to keep and what to give away is always a challenge. But, it’s especially hard when we have been holding on to things for a long time.
I was recently cleaning out some boxes in my garage; things I had not looked at for over 10 years. I assumed I would get rid of all of it. After all, if I had not looked at it or needed it for 10 years then why would I possibly keep it?
However, I found myself brought right back to some wonderful memories every time I took something out of a box. A shirt I wore on a special vacation, a grad school paper I wrote and was especially proud of, cards from my wedding, and many more items that have special meaning.
All of this can be referred to as “sentimental clutter.” Author Marie Kondo has become very popular as an expert in how to tidy your home. She states that you should look at each item and ask yourself: “Does this spark joy?” For most of my clutter the answer is yes. Each item has a fond memory associated with it.
Unfortunately, I still cannot keep it all and make room for new items that I need. So, once I weed out anything that does not spark joy, I will still need to make tough decisions with what is left.
The next step can be to ask yourself if you need the actual item to hold on to that memory. Would you want to share and show to other people, or is just for yourself?
For example, I wanted to keep one copy of each of my wedding and baby shower invitations to look back on and to show to my children as they get older. That shirt from my vacation 10 years ago, however, I have no reason to hold onto the actual item. The shirt is already saved as a memory in photos from the trip.
Do not let guilt cause you to hold onto clutter. Even if it was a gift from someone special it does not need to be saved.
Create different piles to sort your items. One pile for those that you cannot part with. One pile for those you want to donate to a charity that someone else can benefit from. Another pile of items you may want to offer to family or friends who may appreciate the keepsake. You may even have a pile of items worth selling, and an undecided pile to review again later.
Set yourself a goal for how much you want to get rid of to make more space in your home. One way to keep the memory but not the item is to take photos and create a memory book. You can caption the photos and include a short description of the items and the fond memory it is associated with. Then this one photo album can stay in your living room and will get looked at much more often than a box you have to dig out of the garage.
Old clothing and blankets can be combined and turned into one quilt you can enjoy as a conversation piece in your home.
Start small and enjoy this time going through items as a trip down memory lane. See the process of de-cluttering as a shift from holding on to the physical items and instead just enjoying the memory and having gratitude for what it brought you.
Martha Shapiro can be reached at Senior Concerns at 805-497-0189 or by email at mshapiro@seniorconcerns.org.
