I am inspired by the spirit of the holidays and hope to carry some of it with me into the coming year.
Thanksgiving marks the beginning of the holiday season. Then Chanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and finally the New Year. While Christmas is the most commonly celebrated December holiday and has religious roots, I recently read that some of its secular aspects include the spirit of generosity and community. In truth, each holiday brings its own traditions, but together they form a season that invites reflection, generosity, and connection.
That rang true to me, as I have been feeling the community this year. Perhaps because the news feels so stressful these days, I have noticed even more the little niceties from people.
Recently, someone wished me “happy all the things.” It was a sweet and funny way to say happy holidays without knowing what holiday I celebrate. Truthfully, I do not mind what holiday someone references if their intent is to be kind. But it still struck me as someone trying to make me smile.
When national and world news is stressful, I try to focus on what is local to me. These nice holiday greetings, the extra step to share a treat or card with me, mean more than ever.
At the same time, I am reminded that the holidays are not joyous for everyone. I recently learned of the term “Blue Christmas,” referring to the feeling of sadness or grief that some people experience during this time of year. I have several people in my life who have lost a spouse or parent this year. I know for them it may feel like a Blue Christmas as they redefine the holiday traditions without their loved one.
Watching others around you enjoying the holidays sometimes only augments the feelings of sadness and disconnectedness to the season. People may even say things to you that do not match how you feel and may feel insensitive to what you are going through.
Talking with others who share some of your feelings and having a safe place to express yourself are important parts of processing your grief.
There are several grief support groups available locally at no charge. Livingston Memorial Visiting Nurse Association & Hospice, based in Camarillo, offers individual counseling as well as support groups. More information is available at https://www.lmvna.org/grief/ or by calling 805-389-6870.
In Thousand Oaks, Hospice of the Conejo offers a range of grief support programs. You can learn more at https://www.hospiceoftheconejo.org/ or by calling 805-495-2145.
This year, I am making a conscious effort to practice small acts of kindness towards others, and to intentionally recognize and thank those that do them for me.
I will also be reaching out with a text, a card, or a phone call to those I know may be struggling during the holiday season.
Martha Shapiro can be reached at Senior Concerns at 805-497-0189 or by email at mshapiro@seniorconcerns.org.
