The holiday season is thought of as the stretch of time beginning with Thanksgiving and continuing through New Years. It can be a busy time filled with decorations, gatherings, food, gift buying and gift giving. There is an expectation that it is a joyous and busy time. But for many people, that feeling may have shifted over time, giving way to emotions shaped by sadness, loss, or change.
Yet at the start of all of it, the holiday of Thanksgiving remains a time that symbolizes gratitude. I like to pause at Thanksgiving, before the roller coaster of the holiday season begins, to focus on the feeling of being thankful.
Practicing gratitude means intentionally looking at things through the lens of appreciation. Shedding a positive light on our view of things around us.
At our weekly staff meeting we go around and share one way we did our best in the previous week. It is meant as an opportunity to reflect on ourselves, our work, and to focus on the positive. It can be something as small as noting you drank more water today, or as meaningful as helping clients connect to vital resources.
When we started this practice, the staff struggled to think of things. They felt hesitant looking back on their week, arguing that they had nothing to share.
Over time they learned that there is always something to be proud of to share with your co-workers. Soon they started to notice things during the week when they happened. I would hear them saying “I have to remember this to share at the staff meeting for how I did my best”.
This practice of training their minds to reflect on things they did well eventually helped them start to identify them in the moment. It was a practice in changing their minds to focus on positive thinking.
In this way you can also train your mind to focus on gratitude. Reflect after each day on things from that day you are grateful for. No matter how small or large, you can find things every day. For example, today I felt grateful that the rain slowed down for my ride home. I also felt grateful for a nice chat I had with my neighbor while arriving home.
Practicing gratitude does not mean we have to ignore negative feelings. The beauty of life is that we can hold both positive and negative feelings at once. Taking time to practice gratitude simply means allowing the time and space to recognize the good that exists alongside everything else in our lives.
Whatever the holiday season may mean to you this year, take a moment to reflect on what you can be thankful for. Before the busyness and the crowds, allow yourself a chance to pause, to enjoy some quiet time of reflection and connect with practicing gratitude.
Martha Shapiro can be reached at Senior Concerns at 805-497-0189 or by email at mshapiro@seniorconcerns.org.
