The new year is typically a time of reflection and goal setting. But for some it has a different meaning.
My friend’s father passed away at the beginning of 2025. She commented to me that she cannot wait to put a “bow” on this year and start fresh. To her, the year 2025 will always be the year she remembers as her father’s passing and the pain that went along with that.
However, I also know she had some beautiful achievements in the year, and her children had some amazing experiences.
I immediately wanted to tell her not to be so quick to discard the year. I wanted to tell her to think about all the wonderful things that happened too, and to let herself enjoy those memories.
But at that moment I knew my role was to listen and support her.
It got me thinking about why the number on a page of a calendar makes such a difference. Her grief will not suddenly be in the past just because we flip the page of a calendar.
And yet the symbolism does make a difference in our mood. The idea that January marks a change, a new beginning, does affect our outlook.
Perhaps it is partly because the holiday season can be so busy and so filled with stuff- like food, gifts, and decorations, that January also becomes a time of cleansing.
For me, I always put away all the decorations on New Years Day. I take down all the holiday cards that have been hanging, and I start to eat healthier as well.
This all adds to the feeling that January is a fresh start. I enjoy leaning into the spirit of a new year and setting intentions for myself.
I have heard there is a tradition in Spanish speaking countries to eat 12 grapes at midnight on New Years Eve. It symbolizes good luck for each month to come. The more I asked around I learned many people follow this tradition. I was also told if you eat them under a table, it brings extra luck and can help with love.
I surveyed some of my coworkers to learn their New Years traditions and found there are many. One said the color of your underwear is meant to symbolize the type of year you will have. She made a point to buy green underwear this year to hope for money to come into her life. If you wear red underwear it means you will be lucky in love.
Another said her sister packed a suitcase and ran around the block at midnight last year in hopes of having a year full of travel. She feels that it worked as she did travel a lot!
While I have never had these types of traditions, I can relate as my husband has certain things he does and wears when his favorite football team is playing. These superstitions help you feel involved in the game and as if you have some influence on it.
I think participating in these New Years traditions can have the same effect. It can make you feel you are doing something towards making a positive year for yourself.
Maybe the person who traveled more was motivated by running around the block with a suitcase. It gave her permission to take the steps to travel.
And if looking back this year doesn’t feel comforting, that’s okay. Shift your gaze forward. Create or rediscover traditions that help you welcome the new year with optimism, excitement, and possibility.
Martha Shapiro can be reached at Senior Concerns at 805-497-0189 or by email at mshapiro@seniorconcerns.org.
