Q: My sister is caring for her husband who has dementia. Is there something nice I can do for her since she is so stressed?
A: Caring for a loved one is a selfless way to give your love and comfort, but it is not without its stressors. It can be physically challenging, mentally exhausting, and financially straining. Providing care and support to your sister is a profound way to help keep her healthy and prevent her from burning out. Caregivers often neglect their own health and well-being due to lack of time, energy, and resources.
One of the things I hear the most is that caregivers have trouble relaxing. Even when things are calm and going well, they worry about what might happen next. Staying constantly alert and ready for anything can take its toll emotionally.
One caregiver I work with recently had a scare and had to call an ambulance for her husband. Afterward, when it was determined he was okay, she shared that it felt like it was a fire drill. She was relieved that nothing serious was wrong and saw it as a kind of practice run.
The reality is that an emergency or hospital stay becomes almost inevitable at some point in the caregiving journey. She had just experienced it for the first time and would be better prepared if it happened again.
One of the best ways you can support your sister is by giving her an outlet to vent without judgement. Ask her what she needs, but if she cannot think of anything, offer something specific and follow through.
It might be dropping off dinner one evening or letting her know you are stopping at the drug store and asking if she needs anything. Caregivers are often overwhelmed and do not want to burden others. Taking the initiative to do something small is usually greatly appreciated.
Senior Concerns is hosting its annual Caregiver Recognition Day, a free, uplifting luncheon honoring family caregivers. Since your sister is local, let her know about it and consider offering to either attend with her or to stay with her husband while she attends.
Caregiver Recognition Day will be held on May 15 at Los Robles Greens in Thousand Oaks. Doors open at 10:30a.m., and the event runs from 11:00 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. Registration is free but required.
Register online at www.seniorconcerns. org/caregiver-recognition-day or call 805-497-0189 for more information.
This year’s theme is “Nurturing Our Caregiver Community.” Family caregivers deserve care and support from all of us. Providing that support helps sustain them and enables them to continue in a role that can be both meaningful and exhausting.
One of the most valuable aspects of Caregiver Recognition Day, in addition to the educational speakers, is the sense of community it offers. Caregivers like your sister can connect with others who understand their experience. About 150 family caregivers attend, allowing them time to get to know each other, share their experiences, and support one another.
Nearly 25 percent of caregivers report feeling alone in their role. You have the opportunity to show your sister that she is not alone by being a steady source of support and understanding.
Senior Concerns is committed to ensuring that no caregiver feels alone. Whether it is calling to speak to a social worker, attending a support group, or participating in events like Caregiver Recognition Day, these resources help ensure that every caregiver knows there is a community around them.
Martha Shapiro can be reached at Senior Concerns at 805-497-0189 or by email at mshapiro@seniorconcerns.org.
