My mother’s cousin, Elizabeth, recently reached out to me. She is moving from her own home and downsizing to live in a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC). A CCRC is a retirement community that has different levels of care all in one location, usually including independent, assisted living, memory care, and skilled nursing care. The one Elizabeth is moving into requires an entrance fee which is similar to the cost of buying a home, but it allows her to know she will be able to have the care she needs as she ages in place.
Elizabeth felt this was the right choice for her because she has no children, and no one who she feels will be there to care for her or help make decisions for her as she ages. She had a few friends who moved to this CCRC, so she had seen how much they enjoyed the activities, the food, and the comradery.
The CCRC requires that you move in when you are still healthy and have no significant memory impairment. That way you can benefit from the vibrant activities and lifestyle and use the care options as you age in place.
Elizabeth shared that she felt it was the right time to move because she was getting lonelier at home. I have not visited her in many years, as she lives on the East Coast, but I remember her apartment so clearly. I always loved visiting her because her home was filled with beautiful artwork and knickknacks from her world travels.
She called me to talk about her plans to move, as she knows I work in the field of aging, and she felt confident I would understand and validate her choice. I enthusiastically validated her choice and shared how impressed I was with her planning ahead and taking advantage of what sounds like a wonderful community for her and her interests.
She was also calling to ask if I wanted some of her artwork and silver pieces. She remembered how much I used to enjoy them and without children of her own did not have many people to pass them down to. I was honored that she thought of me.
Truthfully, I have no need or room for these items, but the sentiment attached to them meant a lot. I hear so often from people how sad it feels to have no one want the treasured items they have collected over a lifetime of experiences and memories. I did not want Elizabeth to feel like that.
I graciously accepted her offer and selected a few of the items to have shipped to me to cherish.
As we go through life we go through phases. Young adults starting out are in the phase of gathering and acquiring things. They are growing their collections and upgrading their things to create a nicer home.
As we get older, we organize and streamline, sometimes going for quality items rather than quantity. Eventually downsizing and cleaning out, saving only that which is most important to us.
I want my home to be filled with pieces of art or mementos that remind me of people I love, places I have visited, or memories that have meaning to me. I hope someday when I offer items to the people I love, they will cherish them as a way to remember me and our time together.
Martha Shapiro can be reached at Senior Concerns at 805-497-0189 or by email at mshapiro@seniorconcerns.org.
