Q: What is the point of making New Year’s resolutions if I know nothing will change? All the things I want to change I have no control over, like my health or my mobility.
A: Finding ways to envision the next year with hope and gratitude is not always something that comes easy. When you are managing chronic health conditions, mobility limitations, and possibly other issues that will not be cured, it becomes easy to wonder what the point is.
But, what if there are still ways to improve your days? What if you can still set New Year’s intentions that improve your quality of life? You may need to change the way you think of resolutions and what that looks like to you. However, no doubt, there are ways you can improve some aspects of your life; the parts you can control.
The realities of your health and mobility are something to accept and recognize what aspects you do not have control over. It is okay to feel sad and to grieve your loss of mobility and what that means to you. However, accepting what you cannot change does not mean losing hope about the possibility of making different changes to increase your joy.
When you think of your own satisfaction with your daily life, there are many areas of functioning to consider. Think back on the last two weeks and what has bothered you the most. Think about how the quality of your sleep was, how your physical health felt, how you handled stress, and how your emotional health was. What areas are you struggling the most with?
Every day we make choices that effect our health and our mood. You are not powerless over the quality of your day. Yes, there are things you cannot change, but there is plenty to focus on where you have the ability to make choices to improve your functioning.
Consider what aspects of having limited mobility are the most troubling for you. Do you use up all your energy doing household chores and then have no strength left to do anything enjoyable? Consider building in something fun before you do chores. The chores will always be there and those are the “have tos” in your day. But what about adding some things that you “get to” do in your day. What would that look like?
New Year’s resolutions do not need to be sweeping goals that you set. They can instead be a simple intention that you will work on improving your mood. The intention can also be that you will work towards feeling more in control.
You can feel more in control by focusing on what you can change. We all make choices every day that effect our physical health. Whether we are skipping breakfast versus having a protein rich meal to start our day. Maybe we decide to stay up late watching TV, which results in a poor night’s sleep. Or perhaps it is postponing routine medical care or not refilling a needed prescription. Every one of these decisions is affecting our health. You may not be able to change the big picture of health, but you can make small changes to improve how you feel.
Start each day by thinking about one choice you can make that day to be happier. It may be as simple as getting outside into the sunshine or calling a friend to catch up. The beautiful thing about setting an intention is that you are in control of what this means to you every day.
Martha Shapiro can be reached at Senior Concerns at 805-497-0189 or by email at mshapiro@seniorconcerns.org
