QUESTION: I have a friend who is legally blind, and I am at a loss as to how to act around her or what sort of help to offer or what to say. Any suggestions?
ANSWER: I too have a friend who is legally blind, and I asked her for help in answering your question. This is her response.
People’s concept of blindness has become quite an issue in my life. The most annoying comment I’m faced with is, “But you don’t look blind.” That makes me ask, “What does blind look like? Is it wearing dark glasses, carrying a cane or perhaps stumbling around?” The answer is it could be all of, some of, or none of the above.
My friends also ask, “What can you see?” It’s hard to describe. I can see a large object standing in front of me, but I can’t see a stain on the front of my blouse. I also have problems with colors, so if my purple socks don’t match my pants it is because I was sure they were black when I selected them.
Believe it or not I can see a car speeding toward me when I cross the street, but I can’t read the street sign.
My friends ask what they can do for me. I can tell you the greatest and most devastating loss of independence is the inability to drive — and this is probably the easiest way for a friend to assist. Getting around town is very difficult if you can’t drive a car.
I’d appreciate it if friends called to tell me they were going to the mall or shopping center and asked if I would like to go. It is a downer when they call after returning home from an outing to tell me where they have been and what they did.
Don’t ask me if I’ve read the latest bit of gossip in the local paper. Instead, save the article and read it to me. I do have some reading aids but I can’t read without magnification.
When taking me out in the car don’t grab, push, pull or help me in or out of the car. True, I don’t see well, but there is nothing wrong with my legs, feet or hands. When I go out to eat I have trouble reading the menu. If someone doesn’t offer to read the menu to me I order the most exotic thing I can think of and this, of course, results in people making suggestions or telling me what is on the menu.
When shopping, I can’t read price tags or size tags, and colors also present a problem. Grocery shopping is difficult. I rely mostly on label recognition for my purchases. This sometimes leads to gastronomical discoveries.
I cannot see my face in the mirror, and that keeps me forever young. I also can’t see my friends clearly, so they never age, nor do they put on weight.
The moon never looks full to me, as there is always a piece missing. Flowers are no longer perfect to me, but I do indeed remember their beauty. A hummingbird catches the corner of my eye, and it is still enough to remind me what perfect little creatures they are.
I remember the faces of those I love and am fortunate that I see enough to remind me to remember.
Treat me as the friend I always was — and be my eyes.
I want to thank my friend for sharing her thoughts with me and hope that it helps you with your friend. If any of my readers have a friend with a disability and want to help their friend in some way, don’t hesitate to ask that friend what they can do to assist. The result will be that both parties will benefit from the assistance given.
Happenings
June 6 and 7: Livingston Memorial Visiting Nurse Association Diabetes Class — 1 to 2:30 p.m. June 6 at Livingston Memorial Community Room, 1996 Eastman Ave., Ventura; 10:30 a.m. to noon June 7 at Simi Valley Senior Center, 3900 Avenida Simi, Simi Valley; and 2:30 to 4 p.m. June 7 at Camarillo Community Center, 1650 Burnley St., Camarillo. No reservations required.
June 7, 1 p.m.: Thousand Oaks Council on Aging Meeting – “Meet the 2017 Senior of the Year Nominees” – at the Civic Arts Plaza Board Room, 2100 Thousand Oaks Blvd., Thousand Oaks.
June 8, 5:30 p.m.: 2017 Thousand Oaks Senior of Year Dinner and Award Ceremony, Goebel Adult Community Center, 1385 E. Janss Road, Thousand Oaks. Tickets are $6 and are available at the center.
June 8, 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.: Seminar – “End of Life: What Matters Most” – at Agoura Hills Recreation & Event Center, 29900 Ladyface Court, Agoura Hills. For reservations call (818) 597-7631.
June 10, 1 p.m.: Conejo Senior Volunteer Program’s “2017 Theatre Fest,” showing “Social Security” at the Conejo Players Theatre. Tickets are $20 and available at the Goebel Center. For more information call 381-2742.
June 15, 12:30 p.m.: Presentation – “Expand Your Freedom Using Public Transportation” – at Goebel Adult Community Center, 1385 E. Janss Road, Thousand Oaks. For reservations call 381-2744.
