I recently heard Doctor Karen Gorback talk about standing up to ageism. I have written about this topic before and felt it deserved more attention as it is an ongoing issue in our community.
Dr. Gorback shared that it is important to recognize the problem, understand why it is dangerous to our physical and mental health, and learn what we can all do to fight ageism.
Ageism is prejudice or discrimination based on a person’s age. It has become so ingrained in our society that we often do not even notice when it is happening.
Psychologists call it “othering.” When older adults are viewed as an “other,” a population over there that we can easily refer to and speak about in a negative way. And yet, the truth is that we should all be fortunate to grow old in our lifetime.
You may notice it when you turn on the television and see the older adult in the sitcom being made fun of for being old or forgetful. You can see it when you watch commercials for “anti-aging” products. Children grow up seeing this and it builds into their sense of the world that growing old means you are going downhill and that it is not something to look forward to.
A leader in the field is Dr. Becca Levy, who wrote Breaking the Age Code: How Your Beliefs About Aging Determine How Long & Well You Live. Her research shows that a positive belief about aging can lead to better health and even longer life – 7.5 years longer on average. Dr. Levy explains that having positive age beliefs even helps you recover from illness quicker.
In working with older adults, I often hear people speak negatively about themselves for being old. Someone might explain how they feel and interject a joke about how old they are. They feel the need to reference their age because they are so used to people assuming their problems are due to their age.
One reason people tend to resist help or care as they age is due to their internalized feelings about ageism. Accepting help or planning for care implies that they are aging, and people are often resistant. Instead, if our society spoke more openly and positively about growing older, we may find a way to show that accepting help when needed is also a positive thing that does not lower one’s value as a person.
We all need to be a part of the solution if we want to change our society’s long-engrained ageist attitude..
The next time someone makes a joke about their age to dismiss their problems, point it out, and validate them for who they are. Talk positively about aging and the benefits of getting older, especially around younger people.
Be mindful of the language you use. The National Center to Reframe Aging offers many resources about the language we use, available at https://www.reframingaging.org/.
Create language around aging that makes you feel good and shows others its value. The way we perceive things makes a difference in our overall well-being and in the decisions we make. Start questioning the language and your perceptions, and we just may see some changes in how we all approach aging.
Martha Shapiro can be reached at Senior Concerns at 805-497-0189 or by email at mshapiro@seniorconcerns.org.
