Q: My parents resist all new technology, and I think they are missing out. How can I encourage them to try new technology?
A: Technology can feel very overwhelming to people who did not grow up using it. And yet our society has moved so quickly that anyone who does not have an email address or the ability to search online, for example, may have trouble accessing resources and services.
I recall when the COVID vaccines first became available; you could only book appointments online. Our staff at Senior Concerns spent most of their day just helping people make appointments.
Many older adults were willing to try new technology during the pandemic, such as Zoom for video conferencing and webinars, because they were forced to engage and participate in activities when they could not attend in person.
However, some still feel anxious about trying new technology. When my father was alive, he set up online banking and accounts to make things easier for himself. After he passed away, it took my mother a long time to be ready to try using these accounts. After some practice with a family member helping, she now uses them regularly. I will not say she uses them with ease, as any issue that comes up still brings up a lot of anxiety, but she is learning how to manage it.
I had been encouraging her to get an Apple Watch for a long time as a way to have a layer of safety since she lives alone now. She kept putting it off, and I sensed it was because she was not sure she would know how to use it. Finally, when she was visiting me, I surprised her with one as a gift. I let her pick out a new watch band that she thought looked good. She kept saying that she would only use it for safety, but once she had it on, she became excited about all it could offer.
Once she saw that it could show her the Mets baseball score, she was hooked and wanted to see all it could offer her. She even took a picture of the watch to text her friends, sharing her excitement and encouraging them to get one too.
Sometimes it just takes getting over the hump of anxiety to try something to see how much it can offer you.
Start by trying to understand why your parents are resistant to technology, as well as why you want them to use it. Is it because you think it will make them safer, happier, or make things easier for you because they can be more independent? These are all valid reasons, but it can help to explain to your parents why you think this is important for them.
Have an open conversation about why you see this as useful for them and ask them to be open about why they may not want to use it. Try not to make assumptions. Those of us who use technology with ease may not realize the things about it that can feel scary or difficult for other people.
There often is also a difference between what we think they need and what they think they need to be happy and safe.
Be patient with them and introduce new things slowly. Find something small to start with that aligns with something they would enjoy or see the benefit in. Show them how to practice with it and that you will be available to help them. It may work best to schedule ahead of time, so you will be there next time to review it with them again and answer any questions.
There are numerous apps and devices available now that cater to people new to technology, so try looking around for those that will work best for them.
Start slowly, practice, and be open and honest with your parents. Hopefully, together you both understand the role of technology in your lives and how to make it work best for you.
Martha Shapiro can be reached at Senior Concerns at 805-497-0189 or by email at mshapiro@seniorconcerns.org.
