Recently, I observed several events that reminded me of the fragility of life.
First, a woman I did not know personally, but with whom I shared many mutual friends, passed away unexpectedly. Her sudden death shook those who knew her and served as a stark reminder of life’s uncertainty.
Second, an old friend reached out to share that they had been diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. Although this person had not been part of my life for some time, they appeared to be reflecting on their life and reconnecting with old friends as they faced a serious health issue.
Together, these situations reinforced important lessons for us all in how we live our lives.
Those who lost their friend so suddenly expressed regret that they had not more openly shared their feelings. One person told me they now want to make a conscious effort to say goodbye to every person as if it might be the last time.
While living each day with that mindset may be difficult, it serves as a powerful reminder to express your feelings honestly and to say what matters most to the people you care about.
When we consider what matters most to someone nearing the end of life, we instinctively understand that it is rarely the same as what holds our attention in daily routines. We recognize that priorities shift when our time feels limited.
In life reviews people usually value relationships over careers and let go of grudges and regrets. Yet despite this awareness, we often fail to let that perspective influence how we live each day.
These two situations have reminded me that this perspective can add value to my every day.
I certainly cannot live every day as if it is my last. I need to know that I can count on things in the future. And yet, there is an added value to remembering that things may not last forever, and we should value each day and every relationship.
In fact, even if I have these relationships for many more years, it does not mean I should take them for granted now.
It is a reminder to enjoy the present, even if it is not perfect — to see the value in our relationships and the beauty in the mundane, and not to take people or things for granted.
We should not wait until a health issue forces us to examine our relationships and our priorities in life. It is easy to get drawn into “autopilot” living, where we go about each day without paying much attention to the details or thinking intentionally about whether our values match our daily routine.
We have the opportunity to be proactive with how we live, rather than waiting for an event to force us to react and change our ways. Take some time to think about the people in your life that are important to you and find a way to share that with them.
Be genuine in your relationships, reach out to people you care about even if it has been a while, and think about how you want to live your life not just in the future, but today and every day.
Martha Shapiro can be reached at Senior Concerns at 805-497-0189 or by email at mshapiro@seniorconcerns.org.
