Q: I care for my husband who has dementia and I still have him listed as my emergency contact. How can I update my paperwork and make a plan in case something happens to him or to me?
A: It is important to establish a contingency plan for your husband’s care, while also developing a new plan for your own needs now that your husband may no longer be able to serve as your emergency contact.
There are two key considerations. First, identifying who would assume responsibility for your husband’s care if you were unexpectedly unable to do so. Second, updating your emergency contact information to reflect someone who would be able to assist you effectively in an emergency.
Consider the level of care your husband requires. He may need 24/7 supervision, or he may be able to manage independently for much of the day but require assistance with meals and medications. Once you have a clear understanding of his needs, you can determine who is best suited to provide that care.
It may be a trusted friend or family member who could step in if needed. Providing clear, written instructions, such as a care plan kept in a visible location like posted on the fridge, can be helpful for anyone assisting. Alternatively, you may choose to hire a home care agency. Having an agency assess your husband in advance can ensure a reliable backup plan is in place.
For yourself, it is important to update your Advance Healthcare Directive to designate someone who can make medical decisions on your behalf if necessary. Consider a trusted family member or friend who can honor your wishes and who is both accessible and local.
Be sure to discuss this role with the individual beforehand to confirm that they are comfortable and willing to serve in this capacity.
Senior Concerns is offering a hybrid seminar on this topic, both in person and over Zoom, called “When Seconds Count: Who speaks for you when you can’t speak for yourself?.” This will be presented by Andrea Gallagher, President & CEO of Senior Concerns, on Tuesday, February 17th at 3pm.
In this seminar, Gallagher will cover reasons you may not be able to speak for yourself, how delayed contact can impact your care, as well what to keep in mind when choosing your emergency contact. This seminar will also cover how to prepare your emergency contact to ensure your wishes are followed.
You can register to attend in person or online at https://www.seniorconcerns.org/programs/seminars/ or by calling 805-497-0189.
As you think through your own backup plan for care, make sure you have your important medical and emergency information written down and accessible. For both you and your spouse, have a list of medications, health insurance information, copies of Advanced Healthcare Directives or POLST forms if appropriate, and anything else that is needed to know what to do in an emergency. This may also include a list of contact information for close family and friends who you would want to notify to assist.
Review your plans often as life situations change and you may need to adapt the plans and the people to call for support. Taking time to plan now may make all the difference in getting the help and care needed quickly in an emergency.
Martha Shapiro can be reached at Senior Concerns at 805-497-0189 or by email at mshapiro@seniorconcerns.org.
