I often find inspirational messages in unexpected places. If you are willing to pay attention, moments of wisdom have a way of finding us when we least expect them.
Recently, I was watching a show called How I Met Your Mother when one of these messages jumped out at me. One of the characters, Ted, was being teased by his friends for acting like an old man, much older than his actual age. Rather than trying to defend himself, he embraced the comparison and explained why he looks forward to growing older.
He said, “Life is a meal and old age is the dessert. I spend so much of my time worrying about my future. You know, ‘Where’s my career going? Who am I gonna marry?’ But when you’re old, you don’t worry, ‘cause all that stuff’s already happened.”
Of course, there is still plenty to worry about as we age. Health concerns, financial issues, longevity, and legacy are all part of life’s challenges. Yet there was something so refreshing about Ted’s perspective.
Instead of viewing old age as a period of decline, he saw it as life’s dessert, a treat to enjoy in a time of wisdom and perspective.
In a society filled with ageism and a culture that often values youth and portrays aging as something to fear, this metaphor welcomes a new way to view the lifespan.
Dessert may not be the longest part of the meal, but it is the part we often most look forward to enjoying.
There is a social science theory called the “U-curve of happiness” that suggests that satisfaction in life is high in youth, then bottoms out during midlife, and then curves up again to its highest point in older age. This aligns with Ted’s comments, since midlife brings so many unknowns and worries about where your life will end up. These pressures, attributed to balancing career and family, cause happiness levels to drop. In older age, you have the satisfaction of knowing what has already happened and can instead focus on finding contentment with where you are.
One of the greatest gifts of aging is gaining perspective. Time allows us to see setbacks as only part of the story. We grow our resilience and learn that while we may not eliminate worry, we can view it in the context of a full life.
Sometimes the most profound reminders come to us if we are listening. This simple line from a sitcom will influence my view of aging. Stay open to the messages around you, and let them offer a new perspective, inspire a better idea, or help you see things in a different light.
Martha Shapiro can be reached at Senior Concerns at 805-497-0189 or by email at mshapiro@seniorconcerns.org.
